CONGRATS TO NICOLE REDDEN!!!

after 2 years of hard work at nicole's unaccredited college, she has finally earned her certificate!!

CONGRATS!!!

i was walking down the street w/ ed and these two girls a few paces ahead of us were doing the careful walk and looking at the sidewalk./ we assume they dropped something delicate and were trying to avoid stepping on it before they found it. i asked what they were looking for, and they said the metal piece from her zipper. then this other guy came up right behind us and was like what did you drop? and i said "contact lens. and faberge eggs."

today at the gym, i walked towards a scale at the same time as an old naked man. they frequent my gym. so, i offered to let him go first. but i wasn't really sure if that was the polite thing to do in the situation. i mean, he was naked. i'm still waiting to use the scale, so i will be watching him. is his lack of choice in my watching him a threat in some way? but also, if i go first, that;'s more time i'm making him stand around naked. and if that isn't my expressed explicit goal, am i leading him on?! but then he told me to go first. i was wearing clothes and sneakers, and he told me that my sneakers probably weighed five pounds. i am pretty sure that this was the first step in a multi-tiered attack plan to get me to weigh in naked to read my "true weight" - so i just said thanks and scurried away from the scale.

mercedes (the housekeeper) just left the house for about 10 minutes and returned w/ her youngest son, Oba - age 6. he sat on the couch in the living room where i was sitting. i was eating ice cream, and i felt bad eating it in front of a little kid, so i went to mercedes and asked if i could offer him some ice cream. her response was, 'no. no, he does nothing.'
he is SIX.
ps. his two front teeth are platinum.

ok. this happened a bit later. i was sitting in my room, typing an email to sisterpants, and i hear him say, (and he has that weird little kid gravely voice thing going on) "you like to type." it caught me off guard and i said, "what? oh yeah, type. i was writing an email. to my sister." (and i added the sister part like i was guilty and that made my offence better. and then he points at this old timey typewriter i have and says, "i see that you like to type." and i replied, 'oh, yeah, the typewriter." then he said "good evening." and he left.
five minutes later he showed up in my doorway again and said, "may i type?" i told him sure and i put paper in there and he noodled around a little bit. his approach to written language is transcendental. i gave him what nunsense he managed to mash onto paper and he seemed really pleased and thanked me and left w/ typings. he abandoned the paper somewhere between here and the front door.

i discovered a great way to save money today.
dogman buys all the dogfood in the house. from now on, i am only eating dogfood.

my fave commercial at the mo:



my friend says that this is a translation of the lyrics from hungarian:
"I go in, I come out, but how niiiiiiiicely I come out, if I go in."

last night there was a little party at stanley house because it is land's birthday on the 6th, mine on the 10th, and chloe just moved in. so we were there. at one point there was a group of people inside and there was this one guy i didn't know who we were all talking to. someone mentioned that their friends were married by a humanist priest, or some strange splinter cell of christianity. i asked if the humanists had any wedding traditions, like the ancient jewish wedding tradition of stepping on the light bulb. the guy no one knew said uh, it's a glass. and i said actually i'm preeeeeeeety sure it's a lightbulb. and he said IT'S NOT in this strange angry way and everyone got real quiet like for a few seconds.

ps. i saw this advertisment for a new crib designed by the chinese for baby girls: