Tuesday, August 29, 2006

here is a short film starring bananas foster, written by bananas foster, mis-en-scene by bananas foster. directed by land smith-abbinante:

Monday, August 28, 2006

here is a short film starring bananas foster and land smith-abbinante. written by land smith-abbinante, with additional material written by bananas foster. directed by bananas foster. edited by land smith-abbinante:

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

kmristen: i read your blog somewhat compulsively. it's the scourge of unemployment.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

something tonight reminded me of this old guy named wally that i used to work with. he one time told me that i could name any country on earth, and he either fought a war there, tried to park a car there, or nailed a hooker there. he said that after he asked me where i was from and i replied, 'new jersey'.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

wow... today i defeated my mortal enemy.
by taking a brisk walk, i have defeated you, high blood pressure!

Monday, August 14, 2006

Here is the logo for my production company:





















mindhoney entertainment

Sunday, August 13, 2006

sooo. i've been away from you for a long time. i can only move around a little bit, very late at night so that the workers downstairs won't hear me.

i worked on some mtv shoots all last week, or the week before. time is immaterial when you have 7 day weekends. so my first day was at the W hotel, panic! at the disco were being filmed for this promo. here are both promos. watch them, and i can tell you about them.

this is the 1st one:



ok, around second 10 the camera swings over to where the moonman is standing, i am hidden behind one of the cabanas over his right shoulder. i am hidden there for the second one as well.

and here's the second one:



i had never seen this band, i knew very little about them. i knew they were played on kroq style radio stations, that's about it. i thought they would be kind of emo and mod dressin but they were a bit over the top. the one guy's jacket (you can't tell in the vid) looked like it was made out of the children's playclothes' material. it has a large flur-de-lis pattern. what's goin on, guy? also - two of them were beyond hideously ugly. kris said if they stopped dressing like lil' lord fauntleroys they would be upgraded to ugly.

the next day was in the ocean w/ the chilli peps. pretty uneventful day, i stayed on the pier. oh man, i talked to someone, they said my blog was so hot hot hot that it is going to feature commercials. corporations realize i am a vital marketing tool. please watch this commercial, i get paid if you do, and i will take you out to a snocone.



ok. watch it again, but this time make absolutely sure you see the cellist on the cliff face right as the commercial starts, and then how intensely the guy in the last shot looks away from the camera. ROIGHT?!?

the last day of the shoot was with all american rejects in the morning, and paris hilton in the afternoon. great. now i'm going to tell a story about all american rejects that you're skimming ahead thru in the hopes of finding a paris hilton story. so i'll ernie-style give you your dessert first.

my job was to turn a fan on paris when the cameras weren't recording her. !!! i think i ranked below the animal trainer's jar of baby food.

all american rehects!!! let me set up this commercial's boffo gag for you!
the line: all american rejects are chillen' at a bar
the hook: they are sent bottles of beer, courtesy of the gentleman at the bar ... mtv's own moonman
the sinker: the beer kersplodes and gets foam all over them!

so once they were done filming that, they needed a shot of the moonman laughing and pointing on the other side of the bar. so i got to be in the background, sitting at the bar. my character was a drunk, drinking whiskey by himself. maybe he had just gotten dumped, or he found out he had hodgkins lymphoma. so i have lymphoma, and i'm drinking my tumors away at the bar. i'm the kind of guy with advanced stages hodgkins lymphoma who drinks old grandad whiskey, neat. i find a crumb in my shot glass, and think about how it is like the lumphs in my body, and drink it anyway. so i am mostly not visible in the shot but here is a screen capture of footage shot:



so maybe i'll be in there, in the background, when the camera cuts to the moonman and he dances, w/ very advanced hodgkins lymphoma ravaging my body.

then it was around 4:30 or so and the all american rejects had to go back to their hotel. i also had to feed the dogs so i asked kris if i could go and he said yes, you can bring the rejects on the way. they were staying at the bel age hotel by the sunset strip area. the first guy in the van was the dreamy lead singer, and he asked me if this was the 'weed van' and then the other guys got in and some girl who i didn't recognize and i have no idea what relation she had to them. she looked too young to be some sort of label hag. but most of the rejects started talking and talking bout drugs, and whatnot. it went on for 5 minutes. i think they were trying to drop hints around me; i think i was the guy. i didn't realize until a little bit later in the ride. i was going to ask them if they wanted drugs just to see if i could get started on a wacky journey but i just didn't have time w/ the dog feeding. so, lost opportunities. then we started talking about burger time and i forgot about being their conneck.

oh, right before they got out of the 15 passenger van i was driving, we passed a huge billboard for a new double cd by christina aguilera and they were like why the hell is she putting out a double disc? and i said, 'she has a lot to say' and we all had a good laugh.

the day after the last shoot kris had me make a bunch of myspace profiles and link around to those vids, etc. they got thousands of views on youtube, and surely, one more from my sister, who is all of the people that looked here at this blog.

www.myspace.com/mtvmoonman

that's the main one, for mtv's moonman.

i went to matty and a-m's apt for dinner on friday night and there were some guests and i convinced a few of the guests that the gov't is re-instating the draft and if you get drafted you get to bring 3 friends w/ you, as a way to make the war more personal. how amazing would that be?

i played racquetball w/ ed at the hollywood y. i enjoyed it, we want to play more, but you can only bring the same guest 3 times in one year, so i have to think about signing up. i heard that the Y has a sliding scale so that impoverished people can join as well, but they didn't mention that at all to me when i got the pitch. we actually asked for the pitch and they said well, you can sign up, and told me the prices. they don't work very hard to sell it. we told them that and they were like, well you already saw it! aaaanywho, i saw no sliding scale. i'm wondering why i saw so many small latino children there then. how can they afford the Y and i can't? they must all be jimmy smitts' kids.

ps. I STEPPED ON A BEE!!! I SAW JANICE DICKINSON!!!!

Saturday, August 05, 2006

i went to the malibu colony today. and
Dish! i saw Janice Dickinson, sitting on her porch there. someone waved at her. i wasn't sure if they knew her knew her or just knew her. i didn't wave. but i did step on a bee. why are there bees all over the beach there? i don't know if i consider it getting stung by a bee, since i stepped on the bee. it hurt plenty, though. the only other time i've been stung was in mike's backyard, when a nest of angry hornets or bees moved in. those bees stung everyone we knew. one day when the bees stung mike's little brother li'l chrissy his dad had finally had enough and he destroyed the nest.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

i just received this text message on my cellephone:

Destined for something big? Do it in the Navy. Get a career. A degree. Serve a greater cause. For a FREE Navy video call 1-800-621-8957. to opt-out text STOP

what gives?! why did i open and read this thing? the gov owes me 2 cents now. it wasn't even as epic as those army of one commercials. sometimes i want to join the army so i can come back home on leave and be condescending to my old friends and wear my uniform around them.
i work w/ computers.
couldn't you be doing that here?
not really.