My friend Meg is in a play, and the last show was yesterday, so I went to it with Ed. The play started at 2, and i showed up at ed's house about 1:55. (I had called meg to tell her we would be late and to stall). i called ed about 10 times on the way over, with no answer. then i called meghan his gf and then keeli his roomie. keeli answered and said ed was sleeping. so i get there at 1:55 and i bang on his door and he opens it, wearing shorts and a shirt and his eyes were really bloodshot. he was sort of really hung over. i asked him if he was ready, and he asked me for what. we had talked earlier and made plans to go to the play. So i told him we were supposed to go to Meg's play, which has already started.
ed told me he would need a few minutes to get ready. so he sat down and started eating pizza. he seemed out of it and hadn't had much that wasn't a potent potable in his system so i considered this an allowable part of getting ready in a hurry. then he grabbed his computer and started checking his email. i asked him what that had to do with getting ready, and he told me that he got really drunk last night and that he had to make sure he hadn't written any drunken emails to anyone. i suppose ed was pretty drunk because he kept telling me about last night's debauch - even though i had been at his house, soberly watching him get drunk. the best part of the night was when he ordered a pizza whose toping selection was such a monument to drunken whims that it ended up costing $38.80.
aaaaanywho, after a few more minutes ed tells me that he feels too sick to go to the play. i was a little upset because it would have been better if he would have told me before so that i could have gotten to the play on time, but i didn't really care. i turned to leave when ed stopped me and said he'd get dressed right away. later on he told me that this was his reasoning:
I tried to get my clothes out of the dryer but felt overwhelmed and told you I wasn't going. You seemed upset but understanding. This enraged me. You should have be in tears. I though, 'Fuck you, I'm going.'
So we leave and find the theater (the underground theatre) somewhere in Hollywood and peek in the curtain. it's about 2:20 and the play started twenty minutes ago and it's an hour long, so we are nervous about being so late. A girl waves us inside and we make our way to the back. There are only 4 people in the audience.
My friend meg is not in this scene. One person is filming two people on stage who are talking about their lives and how everything's been lately. One guy was a 30 something doughy dude with a beard who seemed like some sort of film nerd. the other woman looked like macy gray. The dialogue was strange. It felt like we'd wandered into a conversation between two hobos. The macy gray-esque of the actors kept doing this thing with her voice where it would get real deep and she'd say "THAT'S MAGICAL" and the audience would crack up.
I kept on thinking that this was the worst most modern play i had been to.
After a few minutes they repeated the scene again. Ed and I looked at each other - it was now clear that we were both wondering what kind of crazy modern play is this. We continued to watch and while I was struck by how terrible the play was, I also found myself admiring the realistic dialogue. It was so cripplingly banal, i couldn'tbelieve that it could have beeritten that true to life and delivered in this way. I wondeed if i wasn't watching the most realistic, amazing play ever. It seemed like the bearded gentleman was auditioning the other woman, since they kept doing scene lines and discussing this project they are going to be working on. Then the woman went to exit the stage and gave the guy her cell phone number and contact info. A simple exchange, but it was so naturalistic that I found myself in a state of bored admiration.
The woman exited the stage and exchanged pleasantries with the audience. We both thought:
"Are they in the play too?"
Then the male actor stared directly at me.
"Hi", he said.
I didn't respond, unsure of how this play was supposed to work. The actor continued to stare at me, while I wondered if this engagement of the audience was part of this modern play. Ed nudged me:
Ed: "Pablo!!! Answer back!"
Me: "... Hi ..."
Actor on stage: "Can I help you guys", the actor asked, "what are you doing here?"
MeL "Oh, uh ... We're watching ... this play?"
AOS: "That's next door. I'm auditioning people for my short film in here."
Everyone laughed at us. We left. We were in the Underground Theatre annex. for over twenty minutes!! We walked next door to the play but the door guy was so mean to us, he was WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR?!??!? and we told him we wanted to see the play, and he said, it's almost over, but i have to charge you full price anyway, $15. he was really aggressive and we decided that it wasn't worth it to pay $1 per minute of a play, so we went home.
ed told me he would need a few minutes to get ready. so he sat down and started eating pizza. he seemed out of it and hadn't had much that wasn't a potent potable in his system so i considered this an allowable part of getting ready in a hurry. then he grabbed his computer and started checking his email. i asked him what that had to do with getting ready, and he told me that he got really drunk last night and that he had to make sure he hadn't written any drunken emails to anyone. i suppose ed was pretty drunk because he kept telling me about last night's debauch - even though i had been at his house, soberly watching him get drunk. the best part of the night was when he ordered a pizza whose toping selection was such a monument to drunken whims that it ended up costing $38.80.
aaaaanywho, after a few more minutes ed tells me that he feels too sick to go to the play. i was a little upset because it would have been better if he would have told me before so that i could have gotten to the play on time, but i didn't really care. i turned to leave when ed stopped me and said he'd get dressed right away. later on he told me that this was his reasoning:
I tried to get my clothes out of the dryer but felt overwhelmed and told you I wasn't going. You seemed upset but understanding. This enraged me. You should have be in tears. I though, 'Fuck you, I'm going.'
So we leave and find the theater (the underground theatre) somewhere in Hollywood and peek in the curtain. it's about 2:20 and the play started twenty minutes ago and it's an hour long, so we are nervous about being so late. A girl waves us inside and we make our way to the back. There are only 4 people in the audience.
My friend meg is not in this scene. One person is filming two people on stage who are talking about their lives and how everything's been lately. One guy was a 30 something doughy dude with a beard who seemed like some sort of film nerd. the other woman looked like macy gray. The dialogue was strange. It felt like we'd wandered into a conversation between two hobos. The macy gray-esque of the actors kept doing this thing with her voice where it would get real deep and she'd say "THAT'S MAGICAL" and the audience would crack up.
I kept on thinking that this was the worst most modern play i had been to.
After a few minutes they repeated the scene again. Ed and I looked at each other - it was now clear that we were both wondering what kind of crazy modern play is this. We continued to watch and while I was struck by how terrible the play was, I also found myself admiring the realistic dialogue. It was so cripplingly banal, i couldn'tbelieve that it could have beeritten that true to life and delivered in this way. I wondeed if i wasn't watching the most realistic, amazing play ever. It seemed like the bearded gentleman was auditioning the other woman, since they kept doing scene lines and discussing this project they are going to be working on. Then the woman went to exit the stage and gave the guy her cell phone number and contact info. A simple exchange, but it was so naturalistic that I found myself in a state of bored admiration.
The woman exited the stage and exchanged pleasantries with the audience. We both thought:
"Are they in the play too?"
Then the male actor stared directly at me.
"Hi", he said.
I didn't respond, unsure of how this play was supposed to work. The actor continued to stare at me, while I wondered if this engagement of the audience was part of this modern play. Ed nudged me:
Ed: "Pablo!!! Answer back!"
Me: "... Hi ..."
Actor on stage: "Can I help you guys", the actor asked, "what are you doing here?"
MeL "Oh, uh ... We're watching ... this play?"
AOS: "That's next door. I'm auditioning people for my short film in here."
Everyone laughed at us. We left. We were in the Underground Theatre annex. for over twenty minutes!! We walked next door to the play but the door guy was so mean to us, he was WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR?!??!? and we told him we wanted to see the play, and he said, it's almost over, but i have to charge you full price anyway, $15. he was really aggressive and we decided that it wasn't worth it to pay $1 per minute of a play, so we went home.
posted by pvf at 4:43 PM
2 Comments:
Why didn't you audition, while you were at it? That made me laugh and laugh, brother.
love,
sister
i kept on asking ed if i should announce my intention to audition and/or give them my headshots (which i don't have yet). but there was no one in the audience that looked like either of us so i don't think they were casting anything that bananas could have been in.
Post a Comment
<< Home