on monday i got a call from molly who works at the production company that hires me sometimes. i missed the actual call,. but i saw that she had left a message. her messages are always something like, 'hey, there's a half day of work on friday, and possibly two days next week. call me back if you can work.' and then she calls back a minute later to say, 'scrap those two days, but i'd still like you for friday afternoon.' anywho, i called her back without listening to the message and i said molly, i called as soon as i got your urgent message. and she said, so can you work tomorrow? and i said sure.
then later i got the call sheet and i saw that this:
-DVX100 camera w/ tripod (Pablo will operate – please set to standard, 16x9 as well.)
then i listened to her message, where she says, 'hey, i know this is last minute, but i need someone for tomorrow, and you'd be a PA, but also operating the camera, i don't know if you'd be comfortable doing that. but i need to find someone so please call me soon. thanks'
i told myself, you gotta look up a picture of the dvx 100 online to see what it looks like, and i had planned on looking up the camera online before hand to know how it works et cetera but then time sort of ran out and it was between looking up the camera online or shaving and i decided i looked way too scruffy. so i shaved and left.
the shoot was this interview w/ jim brown, who i am told is a very famous and amazing football player. i'm kidding, i did know who he was beforehand, even tho i think watching sports is a waste of time and i am really confused when anyone i know enjoys it. ed invited me over for a bbq and the game would be on and meghan was going as well and naturally i thought that they were joking but about 30 seconds after i had finished my hot dog i started to get really antsy and upset about where i was. the second hot dog did little to rectify the situation, as it allowed me to consume it and then i was left w. nothing but football. (ed and meeg are alumns, i don't remember what school they go to but i am pretty sure it is unaccredited.) but jim brown is a pretty big name, i spose, because i remember it from childhood and school, the last places where i was forced to endure a conversation about sports. but yeah i remember his name. so i drive there.
oh i took a little bit longer shaving than usual, and then i had a huge dilema because i had absolutely _nothing to wear_! it's true! my clothes were all in my car when it caught on fire and the insurance paperwork hasn't finished being processed yet so i had to borrow a bunch of dogman's pique polo shirts and khakis. he said looking at me in his clothing is like looking into an adorable and magical mirror. then i found some shirts i had been using as a pillow so i put on one of those. but chosing one took a long time, and rubbing the wrinkles out of it was physically taxing. (my clothes were in my car because my closet is filled w/ pillows). (the fire in my car was due to my matchbook collection - or my pet white phosphorus hunk). (those were in my car bc i am getting my curio cabinet refaced).
so i leave a little late, and it is a house in the hills off of sunset, so i start going up the road. and i go all the way to his address, a few thou off of the start. and i can't find the address. i try calling, but mobilephones are finicky on mount olympus. after a few minutes i look at someone's mail and i see i am on the wrong street. so i wind down and then go up the right one. i got there about 20 minutes late.
luckily most of the heavy lifting had been done by the director of photography and the audio engineer by the time i got there. the DP said to me, 'so, you're working the digital video camera then right?' (he's british, i feel like they ask all things tho innit right tho guv?) anyway, due possibly somewhat to my fear of being exposed as a fraud but at least partially to his heavy cockney accent i mishear him, and i yelp back, 'did you just ask me if i've ever worked a digital video camera before?!?!?'
DP: No, I _assume_ you've worked one before. i asked you if you _were_ doing it.
me: oh yeah, of course. to both.
i brought in a few things when the DP told me that maybe i should set up my camera. (when will this guy get off my back and start sweeping my chimney?!?!) i moved towards some cases until the dp stopped looking worried and then i grabbed the closest one. the producer at this point said he wanted to go over some shot specifications w/ me. the shot list just said close ups of eyes, hand, tracking shots of hands, eyes, zooming shots (to eyes and hands during emotional parts). then he asked me what kind of camera i was shooting w/. i told him a dvx 100 (i remembered thinking i really should have looked up the camera, but then realized how horrible i look w/ a scruff mustache. also, i was pretty sure it would be the standard camera set up that the elephant-over-the-shoulder-dadcam has. bright red button for record, nothing else worth looking at.) he said that was a great camera, and i agreed and looked down quickly to try and halt him from starting a technology-heavy convo w/ me.
then i opened up the camera case and saw the camera. after a bit of inspection i realized how to pull it out of the case, and i began trying to put a battery in the camera. (here's a fun fact - in the biz, we call batteries bricks!) (the biz = the business of show/entertainment). so i am holding the camera in one hand, every few seconds thinking that i should probably be paying more attn to it, since i am waving it around trying to find out how to make it mate w/ the brick in my other hand. i see where the batt goes but i can't seem to get it in there. i am scared to try harder because don't want to break it, but i don't want to be too ginger w/ this thing either. so i am sitting there trying to figure it out and every 10 seconds or so i press the battery to where it is supposed to fit and it comes back in my hand, failing to have magically connected itself to the camera, allowing itself to be consumed for art. after a few minutes the producer tell me that he thinks i have to lift up the eye piece in order to slide the battery in. he's right. i tell him i'm not that familiar w/ _this camera_ and he seems mollified.
i did manage to find the way to make it go 16:9/widescreen, so that was good. right before shooting the dp looked at my camera and moved about a hundred knobs and pushed a bunch of buttons tho. the only thing he said was, 'you want it on this setting if you're going 24p' or 24f. i don't know/remember and i don't remember what the dial was on when he told me. either way, i was ready to go and jim brown sat down a few feet in front of me. (there was another camera further away, shooting a static shot of the interview).
i start shooting and zooming and panning like i was instructed to. his eyes are actually pretty expressive, and my slow zooms to show just from his eyebrows to the bottom of his lips while he is talking about his lack of a father figure and racial problems prevalent when he played football are heartbreakingly beautfiul. i do this for a long time. i keep trying to get his hands, but i can't zoom out far enough because i'm pretty close to him on a tripod. (we call those sticks in the industry!) (the industry, again, another term for the business of making and selling that sweet hollywood magic). but as the interview is winding down, i decide to do a slow zoom on his eyes, and then pan down his face, and down his arm, to his hands, in his lap. i zoom in to his eyes, and begin to follow down his arms. his arms, albeit old, are still gigantic. they are unreal. i go down his hulking arm and catch his hands, folded in his lap. the camera is perched on the sticks, you may remember, and i am panning by using the arm on the side of the camera to control it, so that it moves really slowly and gracefully. at this point, just as i am perched above his lap, pointing the camera at his hands, folded in his lap like a docile lamb, (w/ weird human hands) he begins getting animated and moves his hands. so i have a full zoom and have tilted my camera down straight into his crotch. i start to widen the shot and move the camera away as quickly as possible but it is on that slow moving movement-arm, so when the editor watches this footage they may likely wonder what my intentions were in my dramatic kubric-esqu slow zoom out of this man's crotch. oh. and another thing, he was wearing those track pants that are kind of shiny and soft material. and he is, as i mentioned before, a rather large man. due to all the lumps and mass, it pretty much looked like he had a kitten hidden in his pants. look for it, i think the show is called the 10 greatest college running backs of all time, or something.
just thought of something. what if jim brown googles himself and reads this? will it be awkward if i ever run into him again?
then later i got the call sheet and i saw that this:
-DVX100 camera w/ tripod (Pablo will operate – please set to standard, 16x9 as well.)
then i listened to her message, where she says, 'hey, i know this is last minute, but i need someone for tomorrow, and you'd be a PA, but also operating the camera, i don't know if you'd be comfortable doing that. but i need to find someone so please call me soon. thanks'
i told myself, you gotta look up a picture of the dvx 100 online to see what it looks like, and i had planned on looking up the camera online before hand to know how it works et cetera but then time sort of ran out and it was between looking up the camera online or shaving and i decided i looked way too scruffy. so i shaved and left.
the shoot was this interview w/ jim brown, who i am told is a very famous and amazing football player. i'm kidding, i did know who he was beforehand, even tho i think watching sports is a waste of time and i am really confused when anyone i know enjoys it. ed invited me over for a bbq and the game would be on and meghan was going as well and naturally i thought that they were joking but about 30 seconds after i had finished my hot dog i started to get really antsy and upset about where i was. the second hot dog did little to rectify the situation, as it allowed me to consume it and then i was left w. nothing but football. (ed and meeg are alumns, i don't remember what school they go to but i am pretty sure it is unaccredited.) but jim brown is a pretty big name, i spose, because i remember it from childhood and school, the last places where i was forced to endure a conversation about sports. but yeah i remember his name. so i drive there.
oh i took a little bit longer shaving than usual, and then i had a huge dilema because i had absolutely _nothing to wear_! it's true! my clothes were all in my car when it caught on fire and the insurance paperwork hasn't finished being processed yet so i had to borrow a bunch of dogman's pique polo shirts and khakis. he said looking at me in his clothing is like looking into an adorable and magical mirror. then i found some shirts i had been using as a pillow so i put on one of those. but chosing one took a long time, and rubbing the wrinkles out of it was physically taxing. (my clothes were in my car because my closet is filled w/ pillows). (the fire in my car was due to my matchbook collection - or my pet white phosphorus hunk). (those were in my car bc i am getting my curio cabinet refaced).
so i leave a little late, and it is a house in the hills off of sunset, so i start going up the road. and i go all the way to his address, a few thou off of the start. and i can't find the address. i try calling, but mobilephones are finicky on mount olympus. after a few minutes i look at someone's mail and i see i am on the wrong street. so i wind down and then go up the right one. i got there about 20 minutes late.
luckily most of the heavy lifting had been done by the director of photography and the audio engineer by the time i got there. the DP said to me, 'so, you're working the digital video camera then right?' (he's british, i feel like they ask all things tho innit right tho guv?) anyway, due possibly somewhat to my fear of being exposed as a fraud but at least partially to his heavy cockney accent i mishear him, and i yelp back, 'did you just ask me if i've ever worked a digital video camera before?!?!?'
DP: No, I _assume_ you've worked one before. i asked you if you _were_ doing it.
me: oh yeah, of course. to both.
i brought in a few things when the DP told me that maybe i should set up my camera. (when will this guy get off my back and start sweeping my chimney?!?!) i moved towards some cases until the dp stopped looking worried and then i grabbed the closest one. the producer at this point said he wanted to go over some shot specifications w/ me. the shot list just said close ups of eyes, hand, tracking shots of hands, eyes, zooming shots (to eyes and hands during emotional parts). then he asked me what kind of camera i was shooting w/. i told him a dvx 100 (i remembered thinking i really should have looked up the camera, but then realized how horrible i look w/ a scruff mustache. also, i was pretty sure it would be the standard camera set up that the elephant-over-the-shoulder-dadcam has. bright red button for record, nothing else worth looking at.) he said that was a great camera, and i agreed and looked down quickly to try and halt him from starting a technology-heavy convo w/ me.
then i opened up the camera case and saw the camera. after a bit of inspection i realized how to pull it out of the case, and i began trying to put a battery in the camera. (here's a fun fact - in the biz, we call batteries bricks!) (the biz = the business of show/entertainment). so i am holding the camera in one hand, every few seconds thinking that i should probably be paying more attn to it, since i am waving it around trying to find out how to make it mate w/ the brick in my other hand. i see where the batt goes but i can't seem to get it in there. i am scared to try harder because don't want to break it, but i don't want to be too ginger w/ this thing either. so i am sitting there trying to figure it out and every 10 seconds or so i press the battery to where it is supposed to fit and it comes back in my hand, failing to have magically connected itself to the camera, allowing itself to be consumed for art. after a few minutes the producer tell me that he thinks i have to lift up the eye piece in order to slide the battery in. he's right. i tell him i'm not that familiar w/ _this camera_ and he seems mollified.
i did manage to find the way to make it go 16:9/widescreen, so that was good. right before shooting the dp looked at my camera and moved about a hundred knobs and pushed a bunch of buttons tho. the only thing he said was, 'you want it on this setting if you're going 24p' or 24f. i don't know/remember and i don't remember what the dial was on when he told me. either way, i was ready to go and jim brown sat down a few feet in front of me. (there was another camera further away, shooting a static shot of the interview).
i start shooting and zooming and panning like i was instructed to. his eyes are actually pretty expressive, and my slow zooms to show just from his eyebrows to the bottom of his lips while he is talking about his lack of a father figure and racial problems prevalent when he played football are heartbreakingly beautfiul. i do this for a long time. i keep trying to get his hands, but i can't zoom out far enough because i'm pretty close to him on a tripod. (we call those sticks in the industry!) (the industry, again, another term for the business of making and selling that sweet hollywood magic). but as the interview is winding down, i decide to do a slow zoom on his eyes, and then pan down his face, and down his arm, to his hands, in his lap. i zoom in to his eyes, and begin to follow down his arms. his arms, albeit old, are still gigantic. they are unreal. i go down his hulking arm and catch his hands, folded in his lap. the camera is perched on the sticks, you may remember, and i am panning by using the arm on the side of the camera to control it, so that it moves really slowly and gracefully. at this point, just as i am perched above his lap, pointing the camera at his hands, folded in his lap like a docile lamb, (w/ weird human hands) he begins getting animated and moves his hands. so i have a full zoom and have tilted my camera down straight into his crotch. i start to widen the shot and move the camera away as quickly as possible but it is on that slow moving movement-arm, so when the editor watches this footage they may likely wonder what my intentions were in my dramatic kubric-esqu slow zoom out of this man's crotch. oh. and another thing, he was wearing those track pants that are kind of shiny and soft material. and he is, as i mentioned before, a rather large man. due to all the lumps and mass, it pretty much looked like he had a kitten hidden in his pants. look for it, i think the show is called the 10 greatest college running backs of all time, or something.
just thought of something. what if jim brown googles himself and reads this? will it be awkward if i ever run into him again?
posted by pvf at 11:53 PM
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