Uhhh. ok. i kinda like improv sometimes, or i feel like i do until i
am seeing it. but sometimes it has good moments.
anywho, so i went to this free improv class. it's in la, upstairs from
an ice cream place in this little theatre. there were 15 people there,
at least. i asked my friend if they were good. she said a couple of
them, that guy doesn't speak any english. and she pointed to a swarthy
looking gentleman who was wearing a shiny dress shirt. the man seemed
engrossed in conversation w/ two other people. one was a guy who was
about 80 years old, and was wearing one of those poufy type
windbreakery things, w/ the kangaroo pouch. the other dude was just
some dude you'd imagine would be there. then we went inside to start
class.
the teacher was this guy, he was nice and pretty clever. sometimes i
write not so mean descriptions of people bc i have some sort of fear
that they will be surfing the net and see themselves in my not so kind
words. so more honestly, the guy who taught the class had a sort of
failed actor waft emanating, and he looked kinda like meatloaf in
fight club but w/ a 90's split down the middle haircut, but sort of
feathered at the ends so it was like his wavy gravy blacklight poster
face w. locks that go on to infinity. oh, i should have mentioned to
all readers at the beginning that this story goes nowhere, isn;t funny
or redeeming in any way, and is just so i can waste your time. so
uhhh, this guy, his fiance dumped him over the weekend. i felt it was
perfect for his chartacter, and was sad that he couldn't constantly be
getting dumped by his fiance. ok. so the class starts. i don't cotton
much to yellin and hollerin, we never did that in my house unless we
were plagued with rage demo. but seriously, just to stand around and
shout seems crazy to me. the 1st assignment was for everyone to get on
stage, and partner up. i went w. this short dude w. a beard who looks
like an innocuous college jewish dude. ok, so then the guy is like, we
start every class by screaming, to warm up our vocal chords!! so
scream at your partner, and the first line is... "WE GOTTA KILL THOSE
GUYS!!!" so i spose the point is to scream this dialog that starts
this way. so everyone starts hollering, and my guy is like WE GOTTA
KILL THOSE GUYS!!!! and i just looked at him, horrified. and he
scremaed it again, and was trying to roust me, and i was like uhh, i
don't know what to do, i don't like hollering. and i went into my
trademarked, PICTURE PERFECT impression of land, not even consciously.
i just got nervous and reverted to my landesque state of mind. so ok,
then he's like, just scream, the convo. and he's like WE GOTTA KILL
THOSE GUYS!! YEAH!!! WHO ARE WE GONNA KILL?!?!?!?!? YEAH?!?!??! and i
said, "uhh, the jews?" and he looked really unhappy that i said that,
and possibly that i wasn't screaming back at him. then i stammered
something about how i was just picking history's natural preference.
then that excersize was over. out of 6 or so exercizes, 3 were
completely dependent upon hollerin. loud = off the cuff funny to them.
apparently!!! it was ok. i am trying to convince land to go w/ me next
week and we can keep joinig the same little group and weirding them
out and derailing them. oh, also, during one skit, the dude in the
shiny shirt tried to talk and just said "WHY, BE-CAUSE-AH??!" and then
the teacher was like uhh, fabio, you gotta start stepping up, and he
replied in the most garbled broken pidgin english about not
understanding what was going on. i honestly think this guy somehow
believes that this class is necessary for him to remain in this
country. i am pretty sure most of his letters home are like (in
foreign) 'we are immersed in a perplexing english language class.
people shout at me a great deal, and every one seems to be
schizophrenic. not only do they act erratically, they seem to affect
different voices as well. i miss you all dearly. i must be going now.
i have included 3 american dollars for you, and a packet of tissues
for my sister, who has an incredibly foreign name. oh, i have rubbed
this letter on my scent glands so that you will remember me while i am
away. my god have mercy on our unclean souls."